Socialism:
You have 2 cows.
The State forces you to give one to your neighbor.
Communism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes them from you and gives you the milk.
Fascism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes them from you and SELLS you the milk.
Nazism:
You have 2 cows.
The State takes them from you and shoots you to the head.
Bureaucracy:
You have 2 cows.
The State loses one, milks the other and splits the milk.
Traditional capitalism:
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
You get more cows, sell them and earn money.
Modern capitalism:
You have 2 cows.
You sell 3 of your cows to your own company that sells stocks through promissory notes issued by your brother in law in the bank.
Then you execute an debt exchange in a public offer and get 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows.
The milk from your 6 cows is sent through a broker to a company in Caiman Islands, that sells you back the rights of the milk of 7 cows to your company.
The annual report says that you have 8 cows, with an option to one more.
You take your 9 cows, cut them in pieces and sell people pieces of 10 cows.
Surprisingly, nobody seem to notice that, actually, you only have 2 cows.
Japanese economy:
You have 2 cows.
You redesign them at a scale 1:10 and make them produce double.
But you don’t get rich.
You make cartoons of all the process and call them Kowmon.
German economy:
You have 2 cows.
By re-engineering them, you make them to live 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
Nobody thinks that’s extraordinary.
Russian economy:
You have 2 cows.
You count them and they are 5 cows.
You count again and you count 257 cows.
You count again and you have 3 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another vodka bottle.
Chinese economy:
You have 2 cows.
You have 300 guys milking them.
You explain the world the secret of you amazing milking production ratio.
You shoot at a journalist that was going to tell the truth.
Iraqi economy:
You have no cows.
Nobody believes that you don’t have any cow, so they bomb you and invade the country.
You still don’t have any cow.
Swiss economy:
There are 5 million cows.
Obviously they must be somebody’s, but nobody seems to know who he is.
French economy:
You have 2 cows.
Then you strike, revolt violently and cut all roads, because you want 3 cows.
New Zealand economy:
You have 2 cows.
The one on the left looks prettier to you each day.
Spanish economy:
You have 2 cows, but you have no idea where they are.
Since it’s Friday you go for breakfast to the bar and read the sports press.
Anyway, you’ll look for them after Saint Aniceto’s holidays.